Journal entry from when Myspace was Myspace….possibly right after we got signed… 2oo5?

Haha, Well check this out…. I found some old emails hiding in an old folder labeled “Personal Drafts” and geez I luv webmail. It stores all sorts of stuff ya soon forget ya had wrote, etc. and well when ya come across it: “It’s like wow that’s what I was doing back then, eh?” lol…

 So here’s a lil self email where I had jotted down some thoughts after we had gotten signed and being well, a person that was relatively new to the music industry (I still am, honestly I’m not even in whatever industry they got goin…I just make music/have fun at shows) and having some positive things happen to reinforce the belief that “maybe I’m actually good at this and should do this for a career” (Writing an album, Finding a band that cares about all this as much as I do, Getting a record deal, radio play, our cd in stores, having MTV Desi do a profile on us..etc)..I’d always wonder what was gonna make me different from all the other musicians that were striving for the same.. So I asked myself…What the hell am I doing that’s good enough? It’s always good to be honest with yourself, and that’s def something that I can comfortably say I’ve done at least in respect to the music I choose to create.

So here ya go: 

Nov. 2006,

Whenever i think about our music/band, i find that i admit the simplest (and most obvious) answer is most always the right one: that we’ve not gotten “there yet”, and it’s all the stuff that makes those “great products”, freakin actual “great products”…
= bands/musicians (nowadays espec.) have always been purveyors of “lifestyle”…n what r we selling really? I dunno. i believe we are starting to develop an image, and developing what we are about…so that’s def something that people will want (cuz it’ll be something that we’ve been missing..).and we prob shud concentrate on things that we can improve upon like we def need to improve our website/online presence…cuz like it its not current….theres not even much interesting on our site…few here and there updates about stuff and some posts…which isn’t cool or entertaining…and most of all the music prob needs to be better. It was cool Kroq played broken wings…and I thought the first time I heard myself on real radio would be much cooler than what I felt. Shit, I was more concerned on what to do next..what the next step was, I couldnt even enjoy it…Sheri was like “how does it feel?” all smiling and I responded with “that’s wierd..” lol I’m retarded. Neways, I guess we”ll get there when we get “there.” right? probably dude…..I dunno..
 
Blah blah blah blah…I’m so wierd at times dude, I trip myself out.. Btw, ImageHere’s some more honesty: I guess when I did hear the song on the radio for the first time, I had hoped other people would hear it and it’d effect them/impact them in some way like all the songs that had effected me/made an impact on me did in the past. For one it told me: Broken Wings might be what others are saying is our best song and what I felt was the best song I had written so far at the time…but on the “world scale of what’s amazing” it didn’t quite rate at all. So keep going…write more and figure out what makes an awesome song/What the songs that were important to you had done impact-wise? Etc etc.. And secondly, it reinforced the whole point that it’s possible that what’s important to me, might not be important to everyone else on this planet…and it’s a big planet…lots of peeps….to get someone to care about something you’ve created is pretty damn spectacular…so try to be better at it.. It was good stuff, and remembering those two points pretty much keeps me doing what I’m doing.
 
I always told myself the second making music and performing stops being fun: I should stop..but meh, the fun is kinda built-in for me. Ya pick up stuff as you go along…And ya learn the processes and what works and doesn’t throughout time..and who gives a shit about the rest…..and I also told myself to stop worrying about songs at a hyper critical level..like “trying” to make a song sound good or appealing….if I’m enjoying singing and playing it, hopefully others will to…if not, then oh well…God I’m just babbling now, I should stop.
 
*If you’ve been reading this: All I gotta say is: I Hope ya enjoyed and hope ur doing well yo 🙂 
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